Monday, March 18, 2013

Make it Happen

In Mark Chapter 5, a woman thought...if I could just touch his robe...I will be healed.  She did whatever it took to just touch the robe of Jesus.

What is it today you need from God?   Are you willing to do whatever it takes to reach Him?  Are you going to push by those that aren't desperate for Him like you are or will you just join in with them and wait?

I'm not going to dwell on the things I don't have but today...I'm going to make it happen.  Whatever it takes to reach Jesus.  Whatever it takes to just touch His robe.  I will not let life pass me by.  I refuse to just sit and wait with those that lack desire.  I want more and that's my goal each and everyday...to push through...to just touch His robe...

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The paths of Life

Proverbs 14:12  There is a path before each person that seems right,  but in the end it's death.

I'm not exactly sure what the verse means but to me it speaks boldy.  The devil is like a roaring lion seeking to devour anyone in his way (1 Peter 5:8) but he's not going to show you the end result first.  He's going to paint a beautiful picture that you could look at and think "this is it; this is the life God has planned for me".

My brother has a pretty powerful testimony if you ask me.  He was a phenomenal athlete.  Probably from day one, it was known that he was going to be a star baseball or football player.  From a very early age, everyone knew that he had talent.  He had raw, natural talent.  He is a powerhouse.  I believe that my brother first got hurt during his middle school years.  He has since undergone 4 (if I remember correctly) knee surgeries.  That's all he knew was sports.  That's probably all he ever saw himself as was an athlete and someone that would go pro later in life.  To shorten his testimony, he is now serving as a youth pastor at a local church in my hometown.  We always thought we'd be watching him entertain thousands in a football arena but now we all see the big plan God had for my brother.  Instead of entertaining people as a football player, he's touching lives daily that will impact them for eternity.

Had my brother not gotten hurt and gone on to play pro ball, I believe his life would have had a different outcome.  His life could have gone down the road of an alcoholic.  He struggled with alcohol during his younger days but God has delivered him.  I still get emotional when I watch football games because I know the talent my brother had and I know his love for the game.  But what really gets me teary eyed is seeing him on Sunday mornings before a crowd at church.  God had a path for my brother that would impact others far more than he ever would have on a football field.  God has made him a pro "athlete" that will forever change the lives of some of his biggest fans.  (God causes all things to work together for His good Romans 8:28)

Be cautious about the path that may look like a dream at this moment because in the end, it could lead to death.  Always seek wisdom.  Always seek God's word.  Always ask to see things through the eyes of God.  When life doesn't make sense, sit back and just trust God is working on something great.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

I Dream a Lot

I was raised by a motivational speaker and was taught that the sky is the limit.   I was taught to set goals and when I reached them, set more.

I wish that I could tell you how many dreams I achieved but I don't think I've actually achieved any thus far except for competing in Miss LA.  But my dream was bigger than that...it was to compete in Miss America.  Becoming Miss LA wasn't even a question.  I was speaking it into reality.  But I lost focus in life at some point and started quitting everything I loved.  I quit playing the piano (I really didn't love this at the time).  I quit cheer leading.   One sport I did stick with was track but I wasn't quick enough for the collegiate level and too short to go anywhere with the hurdles.    I quit pageants.  And years later I quit one of my favorite hobbies, working out.  I don't do anything at this time that I dreamed of when I was little.

I wasn't one of those little girls that dreamed of a family or becoming a mommy; however, God showed me things in life that were far greater than any dream I ever had.   He gave me a son.  He was a miracle at a dark time in my life.   My little boy is the reason I'm even alive today.  My dreams have since changed.   I now have the dream that most little girls have when they are young and that's being a bride.   I have my fantasy wedding.  I want to be a wife and I want my family united.

In Proverbs 13:12 it says, "hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy".   It also mentions in verse 19 that it is pleasant to see dreams come true, but fools will not turn from evil to attain them".

God knows the desire of my heart.  He knows my deepest dreams.   He already gave me one of the best titles anyone could hold, Mommy.  Now, it is my dream to become a bride, a wife and to have my family together with the foundation of Christ.

Never stop dreaming.  It is never too late to set goals.  We may have to make new ones but there is always something for us to get excited about.

What is it that you want out of life?  What is holding you back?  Write down your dreams.  Pray and let God know your heart.

I look forward to sharing with everyone the day my dream comes true.  Believe anything can happen!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

There's No Place I'd Rather Be

I just felt the need to get on my knees before God tonight and enjoy His presence. I was "turning on" on my fireplace and the song "Start a Fire" came to mind.  That is truly my prayer, for God to start a fire in my soul.  One that nothing can put out.  I want it to consume everything in me that is not of God.  I want the "fire" to be so fierce that it sparks a "fire" in the lives of everyone I come in contact with.

I was in a doctor's office about a month or so ago and I heard a song playing from a lady's iPod.  Yes, usually I would be irritated but I heard these words, "Right now, your blood sets the addict free".  Of course, I perked up at that moment because I wanted to hear more of the song.

It went on to say, right now, your blood takes away the curse.  I had to really focus to hear what the song was saying.  I desperately wanted to know what song she was listening to and the only thing I could remember was the words "right now".  Well, try finding that song.  I had no luck.  I had since forgotten about that day.

Tonight as I was looking for worship songs.  I found a song that was a little over 10 minutes long titled, "Still Believe" by Kim Walker-Smith and not 30 seconds in to the song...the words...right now, your blood sets the addict free were sung.  Up until about 7 years ago,  the word addict hadn't crossed my mind because my brother had been set free.  It wasn't until I was looking at the love of my life slowly kill himself that the word "addict" became much a reality.  Sometimes I forget that God is the God of ALL.  His blood was shed for us.  His blood was shed to heal us.  Heal us from our sickness.  Heal us from our addiction.  His blood was shed to save us and give us life.  I had faith years ago that God would cure my mother from cancer.   I had faith that He would heal my dad of cancer but for some reason I struggled to believe that He could or even would heal my love from His addiction.

But I know, my  God, is the great healer and He can and will heal!! In Jesus Name...

Friday, March 8, 2013

While I'm Waiting

I'm sure I've posted something similar to this before but today I was reminded that while I wait, I have to worship, trust and believe God is up to something good.

For those of you that know my story, know that the love of my life has been behind bars for over 8 months.  I have given that over to God and have a peace about that at this time but I haven't heard from him in a few days.  He had been diagnosed with an umbilical hernia not too long ago but has had problems over 8 months.  I received a call from him tonight that he had an emergency surgery.  I don't know if you have ever been away from a loved one when they needed you to care for them.  I knew a few nights ago that something was wrong and not just because he didn't call.  There were multiple things that it could have been but my first thought was him being in the hospital.

I know God has a plan but sometimes the wait can tear me down.  I worry about situations such as the above and the unknown.  But...as the song says...I will move ahead bold and confident...taking every step in obedience...while I'm waiting...I WILL WORSHIP my God!

Proverbs 3:5 says to Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all of your ways...acknowledge Him!

Please lift Ken up in your prayers that the surgeon did what needed to be done and successfully.  Also pray for a speedy recovery and complete healing of his stomach.  

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Train Up a Child

I'm going to try and "journal" my journey so I can look back a year from now and see where God has taken me in my walk.

This morning the first thing I read before even getting out of bed was Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go (and in keeping with his individual gift) and when he is old he will not depart from it."

I have failed as a mother the first few years of my son's life.  I didn't show him the way.  I lost focus.  I actually lost faith.  I almost lost it all but my gracious God saved me.  He wrapped His loving arms around me and kept me from being pushed over the edge.  I can remember vividly the night I literally almost lost my mind.  I was low on everything in life.  I was low on faith but I still remembered God's word that said call on His name, and He will save you.  I begged God to please help me and He did.  I sat in my little pregnant chair (my red recliner that I rocked my little boy to sleep in every night) and I stared out my huge window over looking the black night sky.  My life felt and looked like the sky...dark and no light whatsoever.  I was grasping for anything.  I knew I needed a miracle that night and God gave it to me.  He reached His hand down and took me in His arms.  He held me as a father would hold a child.  He showed me what it was like to be held by a King.

I can beat myself up all day long for failing my son but I realize now more than ever...I am his walking Bible.  I am his faith at this point in life.  My actions will speak louder than anything in life right now.  Today, I will train my son in the way he should go.  I pray over him.  I speak life over him.  I speak God's word over him and in Jesus name...my son will know and trust in our powerful and mighty God.  He will be life to this dark world and he will live a full life serving God.

If you have failed or think you have failed as a parent,  start today and strive to live the life God has called us all to live.

We are blessed!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Music is Where I HEAR God

I absolutely LOVE music.  I feel that I am able to hear God from lyrics at times and also at times, perhaps that is the only way I will ever listen because of all the other NOISE in my life.

Today, as I was driving to another town, a song truly spoke to me.


Well, everybody's got a story to tell 
And everybody's got a wound to be healed 
I want to believe there's beauty here 
'Cause oh I get so tired of holding on 
I can't let go, I can't move on 
I want to believe there's meaning here 

Chorus: 
How many times have you heard me cry out 
"God please take this"? 
How many times have you given me strength to 
Just keep breathing? 
Oh, I need you 
God, I need you now. 

Standing on a road I didn't plan 
Wondering how I got to where I am 
I'm trying to hear that still small voice 
I'm trying to hear above the noise.

Oh I walk, Oh I walk through the shadows 
And I, I am so afraid 
Please stay, please stay right beside me 
With every single step I take 

How many times have you heard me cry out? 
And how many times have you given me strength? 

This song is absolutely amazing.  There are so many things in life that prevent us from hearing that still small voice.  There are times God wants us to just be still and know that He is God.  What is the noise in your life?  Noise can be a phone, work, friends, social media, even family members.  Are you crying out to God today but can't hear Him because you are too busy on Facebook? Twitter? Instagram?  I'm guilty of all of the above.  I'm guilty of putting my social life above my quiet time and then wonder why I can't feel the presence of God.  I wonder why my attitude has changed.  I wonder why I doubt but then I hear that still small voice above all my NOISE.   God says, Laurie, I haven't left you.  You've been too busy for me to simply HEAR me.  Slow down.  Take the time to seek me.  Read my word.  Spend some quiet time in prayer.  Don't neglect me or push me aside.  The noise is pushing you further away from  me.  

Turn down the noise in your life...listen for that still small voice.  




Monday, March 4, 2013

What Paralyzes You

One of my good friend's brother was paralyzed about 6 months ago after a diving accident.  He recently was able to travel back home to Pensecola after being in Atlanta for 6 months.  He shared a little of his testimony as he joked about being paralyzed because he knows that it's only temporary.  His faith is unwavering.  His wife's faith is unwavering.

It brought me back to my reality.  My little boy's daddy and the love of my life has been in prison for a little over 8 months.  At times I doubt that our life will ever be back to normal.  I fear that he will never be able to fight his addiction.  I worry about my future and the future of our little boy.  All of those words:  fear, worry, and doubt are not of God.  Trey (the one who was paralyzed) stated that perfect LOVE cast out all fear.  What Satan attempted to do in the life of Trey, failed.  God said that He is mine.  Trey has been clinging to God's promises and speaks life into his body.  He speaks life into his legs and his arms.  He doesn't focus on what he can't do at this time but he chooses to focus on what he can do.  He can move his fingers.  He can move his arms and in time, he will be able to walk away from what Satan intended to paralyze.

Addiction has paralyzed my little boy's daddy.  Worry, fear and doubt have paralyzed my faith.  Satan tries to paralyze us daily by feeding our minds with thoughts that will take our focus off of the word of God.  The word of God is life.  God's word says that He will make all things work together for His good.  What Satan intends to destroy, God will turn it in to a victory for His glory.

Today God challenged me to increase my faith.  I want the unwavering faith that Trey and his wife have had the past 6 months.  They chose to focus on God's word instead of letting fear take over and destroy all.

What paralyzes you today?  What keeps you from moving forward in life?  I challenge you today to take your focus off of your problems and set your eyes upon the word of God.  It is full of LIFE!!