So Thankful...

I have had so many emotions rushing thru me the past few weeks...sadness...joy...peace...excitement...happiness...fear...worry...heartache...but I'm grateful for where I am at this stage of my life.

This time last year I did not have a home for me and my little boy...I did not have a vehicle this time last year because my motor was blown...and the father of my little boy was in and out of our lives...

I knew that God would take care of me and Kendall.  I knew that He would provide for me if I would let go and let God...it was one of the most difficult decisions in my life...I had to make a decision to be without material goods in order to break away from the one that God wanted me to break away from...I had to let go of the one I gave my heart to...I had peace beyond understanding but heartache like none I have ever experienced.  I had someone tell me before that your heart and mind are two different organs... and I never thought about love in that aspect but it is so true!

God has since given me confirmation on my decision on several occasions...though I do not know where Kendall and I will end up as far as our little family...I know that my decision has allowed God to bless me in many areas of my life.

I have seen destruction all around...I have seen the horrific storms affect so many different cultures...from the flooding to the tornadoes...there are thousands that were left with nothing...lives were lost...memories were forever washed away...childhood pictures or belongings that can never be replaced were gone in the blink of an eye...

We take for granted the "little" things in life on a daily basis...I cannot fathom losing my home or my personal belongings due to mother nature...I was flooded out of my home 3 times in one year but my personal belongings were safe.  My house was built so that the flood water was far beneath my home.  Though I did not have "my" bed or "my" bathroom...I still had a house to go back to once the water went down...I still had memories to cherish from moments that had passed...

I am thankful today that I have a home...a healthy boy...a reliable vehicle...and a God that will never leave me no matter how many times I fail Him...He had me in His hands...He was my protector and He will forever be my provider and my healer!

I speak victory and healing over those who have perhaps questioned their faith in God...I pray that He sends them a peace that only He can give...

God is almighty and omnipotent!!

Mother's Day...

There is no name better than Mommy! I love hearing my little boy call me mommy! He called me Mommy's when he was little.  I take great pride in being a mother.

The church service this morning was great. Brother Tom spoke about the  responsibilities of a mother.  A praying mother...a mother that shows by example...a mother that teachers her children values.  A mother can speak life over her baby before it is even born...There is so much responsibilities that come along with being a mother...and it's the greatest experience in the world.  Brother Tom said this morning, "what could be more exciting than life"?  He hit the nail on the head with that statement.  What could be more amazing than giving birth to a child that has been inside you for 9 months?  The feeling you had when you first saw your little one.  When you first heard your little one say mommy! When your kisses make everything better...when mommy keeps you safe from the ferocious thunderstorm.  When your little one runs to you when you pick him up from the daycare screaming "that's my mommy"!  Holding your child in your arms.  Having their eyes look up at you and think that their mommy is perfect! I honestly do not think I could ever find anything that tops being a mother.  It is the ultimate calling in life!

I had a great day today with my family and I also got a message from the father of my child wishing me a happy mother's day.

My mother's day was complete and I learned today, that I can show my little boy how to live for Christ and not just speak the word!

Finally...

I went to box this evening and I was able to take my little toot with me.  I have not boxed in over 4 years and let me tell you...I kicked my tail!! But I feel GREAT...and I feel as my life is finally moving forward and I am beginning to feel like my old self again!

It's a phenomenal feeling when you are able to LIVE after letting go of something that was holding you back...even though that something has your heart!

Thank you God for your peace and comfort...thank you that I am able to trust you and know without a shadow of doubt...that you hold me in your hands and you hear the cries of my heart!!!

God is Good!

My next 30 years...

One month from today, I will be 30!! I really don't mind the thought of turning 30 but I did set myself some goals for the next 30 days.  I have accomplished a lot over the past 30 years...I attempted my dream after almost waiting too late.  I have so much to look forward to over the next 30 years...I have a little boy that I will get to enjoy my life with and make more memories with.  I also have goals that I would like to achieve and not wait until it's almost too late.  I want to do them now.

I started tonight by working out again.  I passion of mine that I had given up.  I was addicted.  I guess that's one thing that is good to get addicted to at this time.  I attended a Zumba class tonight and BOY did it bring back some memories from the clubs...but this time, I was sober and had a BLAST! I am glad that I am able to do two things I love at the same time, work out and dance!  I Love to dance but there is no where to dance besides bars and I DO NOT want to go to a bar.

That is one of my top goals is getting back in my old routine of working out.  It's hard being a single mom to find schedule to put all your heart and soul into working out and getting in the best shape of your life...in 30 days!! But, I did it once (without a little boy) and I can do it again!!

30...here I come!!!